Bar Poker

My buddy the big dog has been playing bar poker with this company called riverchasers.com for quite some time. Basically, what they do is set up camp in local bars and let those who cannot gamble legally in a state participate in a no limit hold em freeroll for gift certificates. The company then sees a piece of the added revenue brought in at the bar on an off night. After dominating the Graduate Records Examination(800 math in your eye), I decided to go in and show these home game bitches the way its done under the bright lights. It was taking place at a bar minutes from my house, so I decided what the fuck. We each got 100 in chips to start with blinds one and two. There were about 60 people split into 8 person tables, and the action got going around eight in the PM.
I played far tighter than I have ever played in my life, given everyones desire to bet big every hand. I literally folded ninety percent of my hands for the first forty minutes as the maniacs dissappeared. I then made a big score on a full house with queen eight suited and started bullying the shit out of these bush leaguers. Everything was going well until they broke my table cause they couldnt handle my force. I moved my two hundred and fifty in chips to a new group of seven and loudly announced, “Who used to be the chip leader here?” as everyone stonefaced hated me in unison. One girl even honestly asserted “Someone’s a little cocky”, as though I was out of line to be disrespecting the game at a freeroll tournament.
About two hands later I was dealt pocket jacks under the gun with the blinds at 4/8 and 230 chips in front of me. I made it twenty to go, and had a guy behind me go all in for 25. Another caller, and then a guy made it fifty, followed by the big blind going all in for 65. I cold called after which an original caller went all in for 12 more. One of the people who had folded mentioned “You guys must all have big hands”. To show that I wasnt fucking around, I showed him my pocket jacks and the guy to my right immediately called foul. “He showed his cards, thats a dead hand, I was waiting for someone to do that.” He said it up in my face like he was a god damn traffic cop, but everyone at the table supported his ruling. Apparently, this was a tennant of the bar poker scene and everyone wanted to see me forfiet the money I had put in. I relented and said that it was bullshit, but the tourney director upheld the ruling. The flop was dealt with an ace, and I realized that I had dodged a bullet. When the guy who had called foul on me rechecked his hole cards, I leaned in for a peak and said that he had shown them to me. The hot shot was irate, even though I was clearly joking and tried to get me kicked out of the festivities for peaking on a hand that he had already forced me to fold a third of my chips in. All told three guys got knocked out by a pocket queens hand that I thankfully dodged including my accusor, and the table was broken with me retaining about 160 in chips.
I was placed at a new table with less rigid guidelines, and quickly made the chip leader a marked man. I set out to double up, and hit a lucky flop with top pair vs his pocket threes all in preflop. As the new chip leader, I leaned on people and they started to hate me. I won about three coinflips where I had a slight advantage, but definitly hit a lucky streak. One particular old lady kept saying “he never has anything” as she let me steal her blinds round after round. I built my stack to around 600 and headed to a new table when I had decimated the old one. I had about twice as many chips as anyone there, and the blinds were now at fifty and a hundred. I made it two hundred to go out of the small blind with ace king offsuit and a dude went over the top all in for 4 hundo. We had another caller for a portion of the amount after which I called and flipped. Dude who had made the move had AQ and the small call had A9, both dominated. Sure enough the turn came queen and I gave most of my chips to my right. With only two hundred remaining, I started going all in whenever I had anything resembling a hand, but still got blinded down to 150. I pushed with Q-8 suited and got called by K-Q hitting my miracle eight.
I doubled up a couple more times until we condensed the remaining 8 players into a final table with me holding about 600 of the 5700 chips available. I started bullying and shits didnt understand the idea of pot odds. I went all in first hand with K-8 offsuit in the cut off, and the button told me he folded A-10. The other guy called with pocket sixes and I dropped an eight in his eye. I kept hitting hands like that or stealing blinds to the point where I was up to 1800 with everyone at the table thinking I was the luckiest motherfucker on earth. I pushed 400 preflop with AQ and the flop came AK2. I bet out four hundred again, inducing an all in from the chip leader. I quickly called and she turned over a straight bluff which clearly left me doubled up to 3600 in chips and full command of the table. Shits were furious at my style and allowed me to pick them off on coinflips till we got down to two.
I had about 4000 to his 2000 and was making moves left and right. The blinds were 100/200, and he just called in the small blind. I looked down at 89 diamonds and decided to make a play. I bet out 600, hoping for a fold, but I got the exact opposite. He made it an additional 1000, and I was looking at a call of 1000 into a pot of 2600. Some fallicious math told me it was likely the right call, and when the flop came 5diamonds, 6 diamonds, 10spades, I thought I was in bidness. I put him all in for a few more chips and he flipped pocket kings. Nothing that should have came did, and I was left with a reversal of forutne. I picked up a few blinds and folded a few hands then went all in on K-7 offsuit and got called by A-8. Shit didnt go my way, and he ended up with top billing. I got a $75 gift certificate to that very bar, which by my calculations is approximately 12.4 long island iced teas, so at least Ill have a merry christmas when I come back home. The evening’s end belied my true position as a heads up diety, but it was still a pretty

Bar Poker

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