Money where your mouth is

After dropping about 150 online and 60 at the mirage 3-6, I only had 60 bucks to put in play on college football. I threw twenty three to win twenty on Penn state plus 3.5 and 10 on the money line to win 15.50. I also took the Irish for 23 in the first half plus 7 points. The main reason I took the Irish was out of respect for an old coworker of mine at the Santa Fe sports book. Angelo was this henchman looking guy from new York. He talked with a thick new York accent and was always saying things like “hey ed, whadda ya say, you think the jets are gonna do it this weekend? Of course not, they suck, hehehehe right ed, the jets suck.” He was my favorite coworker to shoot the shit with at the time cause he always had an opinion on a game with no research whatsoever. It didn’t matter how they arrived at the line or which key players were injured, Angelo would just pick a side at random and support it with statements like “definitely the Texans, they’re gonna kill em, don’t even need the points, I mean I’m taking the points ed, hehehehe, you know what I mean, but I don’t need em.” The best part about it was that he was always wrong. Without fail, he missed every pick he put in. He would always have the wrong end of the blowout and be cursing at the TV, “how the fuck do the Arizona cardinals call themselves a football team, they aint even trying out there ed”. There was a six week stretch where he made his big bet of the week on the Notre dame game, and lost every single time. Notre dame probably went 3-3 against the spread over that span, but Angelo was on the wrong side every single time. “I love the Irish this weekend ed, they gotta bounce back, they gotta do it, they killed me last week, but they are gonna get it all back.” Then after he lost again on them, he would come in and say “They suck, the Irish suck, good for nothing bums, eh ed? They are gonna get killed this weekend, put it down, Angelo told you so. Bet everything you have against the Irish.” Sure enough, the Irish would wipe the floor with whoever they played. It was awesome. If you are a compulsive gambler who goes on streaks of wins and losses but usually comes out on top, there is no better friend than the born loser. Born losers lose bets with a far higher percentage than winners win them. A truly dominant 900 number for sports picks would show this dude in a bills cap and wire rim glasses, then the voiceover would kick in…Leroy bets football every weekend. No matter how hard he tries Leroy cant win. Last year he went 20-50 against the spread. Call today and get Leroy’s loser locks, look at the kid, he looks like he’d cry if you threw a football near him. So call today at 1-900-L4LOSER, if you bet against Leroy, you cant lose…the whole time the camera has been zooming in on Leroy’s vacant stare as the voiceover continues. Once it subsides Leroy’s full screen face starts to wince and we pan out to reveal he’s been given an atomic wedgie. Then our final jingle hits home, call leeeeeeeeeeroy, he cant win, he can’t win, call leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeroy and you can’t lose. If your wondering whether or not this entire entry is just an exaggerated reverse jinx to make sure at least one of my bets goes through, understand that my credit card was declined about half an hour ago because I had too many transactions waiting to process on my account. Desperate times call for desperate measures, we Are….Penn State.

Money where your mouth is

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