Musing about Midgets

I was playing 3/6 at the mirage, with a midget. He had to stand on a chair and kind of paw at his cards rather than hold them. Dude kept winning pots, and no one could look at him to figure his shit out. In general, I love midgets. They make me feel tall, and girl midgets are hot. But this guy was like a wannabe weightlifter tough guy midget. Some of these fucks have to be on the juice, which doesn’t make any sense whatsoever. If you’re a midget and you can give your guy a little extra for human growth hormone I think you’re shelling out on name alone. So this guy was one of those trying not to be a midget kind of midgets who resent your pity. So I couldn’t look at the little fuck, and I let him bully me out of chips. Eventually, I said fuck it and just started staring him down whether we were in the hand or we weren’t. But that was freaking me out even more. I started thinking that he was a walking caricature drawn at a recent bar mitzvah. So I was picturing him in a little baseball uniform with that big head sticking out, or maybe as a tennis player and that made me laugh. He was pissed that I was laughing at him and eventually left the table. The rest of the night the people who stayed kind of looked at me like I was a midget hater and it threw me off. Does a caricature artist ever face the dilemma of a midget sitting down at their both? What would they do? Make the head even comically bigger and the body comically smaller? Just draw them as is and basically give them a self-portrait? Me, I would take the joke to the next level. I would draw them as though they were normal people, with regular size head and limbs, the reverse caricature if you will.

Musing about Midgets

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